Mummy Zen

I attended a baby and child first aid course at the weekend. It was one of those things I had been meaning to do for a while so I was glad to finally do it! It was certainly helpful and I came away feeling a bit more prepared to deal with any unpleasant eventualities, should they occur. I expect many of you have also done a similar course but I thought it might be helpful to share a few things I learned or was told, that you might find useful. The instructor we had works at a big London hospital and had some anecdotal information from working there that was interesting to hear too.

• Most burns on children that they deal with at her hospital are caused by hot coffee or tea spillages. Whilst our skin can take the heat, theirs is that much more delicate that it can cause a more severe burn. She mentioned the coffee we all buy in coffee shops that’s usually too hot to drink at first – that’s what we need to look out for!

• With head injuries, it’s usually a good sign if the child cries out after hitting their head. This was good to hear, as it seems once children start walking, they have so many falls and bangs to the head you are never sure when to be worried.

• If a child is choking, they won’t be making a noise. If you can hear them gagging or making a noise in the back of their throat, that shows that the airway is still clear. If it’s blocked by some food, they’re not able to make a noise.

• When a young child sticks something up their nose, one way to get the object out is to close the other nostril, put your mouth over theirs and give one short, sharp breath into their mouth.

• In instances where CPR is done on a child, the success rate in getting them breathing again is fairly high and a lot higher than with adults. Even if we don’t remember the exact number of breaths and chest compressions we are supposed to do, we were told that anything we do will likely help.

We all hope that we don’t have any scary situations with our children, no severe injuries or accidents but you never know what might happen and it’s good to be prepared.

What kinds of injuries have been most common with your children? Have you got any first aid tips to share?

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I heard some sad news last week. A friend of mine with two young children, her youngest around the same age as my son, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I was really shocked and upset when I found out about it. I kept thinking about how tough it must be dealing with something like that when you have two young children to look after. She has just started chemotherapy which will go on until mid-December. After that, the plan is for surgery, followed by radiotherapy and hormone treatment. It’s going to be a long, hard journey for her and her family.

This week, I received a letter from her husband with a ‘Livestrong‘ wrsitband enclosed. He’s sent letters and wristbands to 100 people who know his wife, with the thought that she’ll know at any moment that at least 100 people around the world have her in their thoughts and prayers. He asked that we send photos of ourselves wearing them, on holiday or in exotic locations for example. I think it’s a really caring, thoughtful gesture. His letter also explained more about the cancer, the treatment and how she’s expected to feel as a result of it, as well as letting us know what they have told their oldest child (age 4) about the cancer. The last sentence of the letter ends on a great positive note:

Annie is determined to rejoice in her life and I hope you will do the same. With hope, love, faith and a large amount of medicine we move forward.

It’s not everyone’s approach to be open with friends about something like cancer but I find it easier to know how to react when they are. Now I’ve been told exactly where she has the cancer and that it hasn’t spread anywhere else in her body. I know how it’s going to be treated medically and how they are dealing with it amongst their immediate family. Maybe most importantly, I know the outlook Annie is aiming to have – one of optimism and determination. All possible questions have been answered and I don’t feel like I have to tip-toe around the subject or feel uneasy talking to her about it.

She’s certainly not the first person I know to have cancer but she’s the first person I know with it who has a young family. Whilst I can in no way imagine how one would cope with a situation like this, I can appreciate that it’s an especially difficult one with two young children.

However, I’ve been asked to keep up the postive thoughts and prayers for Annie and that’s what I’ll most certainly do! Providing love and support is what friends are for. I feel honoured to have received the letter and wristband and to have been asked to help in this small way. Annie has got through other struggles in the past and fought on to achieve things important to her so I know she can do it again. She’s a wonderful, warm, fun person to be around. We share a love of home-baked cakes! We used to work together a few years ago and her thoughtful leaving gift to me when I moved on was a collection of her favourite baking recipes that I use to this day. She sent me a box of clothes when our son was born, that her children had worn briefly and grown out of. Such a helpful gift to new parents! I’m trying to think of something I can do or send to her on a regular basis to help keep her days bright over the months to come. We don’t live nearby unfortunately but I’ll come up with something. I too am determined to ‘rejoice in her life’!

Do any of you know other mothers close to you and young families who’ve had to deal with something like cancer?

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A friend was telling me recently how she doesn’t like her 1-year old to eat the food in restaurants because the children’s menus are always so unhealthy. I got to thinking about places I had been and the meals on their kids menus and I had to agree that they definitely tend to be quite unhealthy choices. Things like burger and chips, chicken nuggets and cheesy pasta seem common. There’s a distinct lack of nutritional fruit and vegetables in those dishes.

After parents are advised during the weaning stage to introuduce a wide variety of fruits and vegetables and to steer clear of salt and sugar in the food for their children, it’s strange to see such a different approach in restaurant food for little people. It appears they are aiming to please the fussy eater who doesn’t like their veggies, rather than appealing to the health-concious parent who wants their child to enjoy a varied, nutritious diet.

I recently met with the head chef and manager of a nice restaurant in our area. They are trying to attract a more local crowd and to strengthen links with the community. They want families to come to their restaurant and so they want to make it as family-friendly in as many ways as possible. One way they are doing that is to not provide a children’s menu. They think it’s a more flexible approach to provide food for children as per their parent’s request. If the parents want their child to have a small portion of something on the adult menu, they’ll do that. If they want something in particular for their child, be it a vegetable dish or chicken nuggets, they’ll happily accommodate. I think that’s a good way to please most people and certainly a lot less restricting than a kids menu can be.

We hear a lot about childhood obesity in the news these days and according to a study by the British Heart Foundation in 2004, 1 in 3 children is overweight or obese. It would be great if restaurants could provide healthier options for children to make eating well easier for families to do when they are eating out, as well as at home. There are lots of easy nutritious meals that are appealing to younger customers. Even those who don’t enjoy an extensive repertoire of vegetables will probably eat them if they are disguised in something like a lasagne for example.

What do you think? Do you find the choice limiting when you eat out with your children? Do you eat out rarely enough that the odd unhealthy meal here or there is not a big deal or would you prefer to see some healthier choices on the kids menu?

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Yesterday was The Big Lunch day that I wrote about recently. With the help of another mum, I had organised a Big Lunch in our neighbourhood, in the form of a Teddy Bear’s Picnic at our nearest park. We invited all the families in the local group of mums we belong to and contacted some local businesses to see if they wanted to be involved.

We had a very positive response from the businesses. We were provided with food for the picnic from a very nice pub/restaurant, some desserts from a cupcake/bakery business, fruit and vegetable purees for the younger ones from the Kensington-based Little Dish, as well as some other goodies for people to take home with them.

Including children, over 100 people turned up to our picnic! It was a wonderful success and everyone seemed to genuinely enjoy themselves. The sun came out, parents chatted, children played and a local music class teacher provided a lively sing-along to end the event. It was all really fun! I felt like it achieved everything The Big Lunch is about – a sense of community, a simple bringing together of people who all live close to one-another but who otherwise might not ever meet and a sharing of common ground.

Did any of you take part in a Big Lunch?

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As Father’s Day is this Sunday, I thought I would write a little about some special memories with my  father.

I have two strong memories of my dad from when I was young. One is of him telling me stories, both reading me books but also making up ‘Janet’ stories. The ‘Janet’ stories were of course about a little girl named Janet and the adventures she went on. These stories were strictly father and daughter only so my mother was never allowed to listen in. It was usually on a weekend, when I’d wake up early and go into my parents’ room that we’d have this storytime. It was a really special father-daughter time that I’ll always treasure and think fondly upon.

The second childhood memory of my father is one time when he and I were Christmas shopping and he knocked over a Christmas tree on display in a store! It’s a funny memory that we often refer back to and laugh about. I was still young enough not to be embarrassed and to just find it funny and I think my mother was glad she wasn’t with us when it happened!

Nowadays my dad is still the storyteller and one to have a good laugh with.  His life has changed dramatically since he moved from freelance IT consulting in London to a small village in France eight years ago. Now he spends his days working on their house and has taught himself a host of new skills based around building, plumbing and electrics! He’s a handy person to have in the family for questions on anything from IT to household DIY! I’m proud to have a dad with such a varied range of skills and interests. He’s always been one to encourage an open mind and a view that we can do anything we put our minds to.

This Father’ Day, I’ll be thinking fondly of my dad and we’ll make do with a father-daughter chat on the phone. We’re lucky to have my husband’s father here with us in London, as he and my mother-in-law arrive from the States on Saturday. It’ll be fun for my husband to enjoy his second father’s day and to have his own dad here too.

Are you getting to spend Father’s Day with your dad? Do you have any special childhood memories of your dad to share?

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My American husband and I went with a couple of friends to a local pub to watch the England v USA World Cup match on Saturday evening. Whilst the match itself was not especially impressive, we had a great time and the atmosphere was fun. Incidentally, when my husband and I first met in France, we spent many early mornings watching the 2002 World Cup games in South Korea and Japan with our friends at various bars in Nice. The World Cup has always been associated with good times in our relationship.

I’m not usually much of a sports fan at all, whether it’s watching football or something else but when it comes to the World Cup, it seems different somehow and I love it! I think it plays a great part in uniting a country for the month it lasts. People get a sense of patriotism they never normally have and share a common desire with all kinds of people around them who they might not normally have anything in common with.

When we were watching the match in the pub last weekend, people standing around us were friendly, light-hearted and chatting to us. That would rarely happen on just a regular trip to the pub. I think the World Cup brings a real optimisim and happy atmosphere to communities large and small. It’s helped by the fact that the World Cup happens during summer time when people generally tend to be cheerier than they are in the winter (at least in London that’s the case). It brings together friends, happy crowds and gives people something to be excited about. It encourages camaraderie, warmth and unity amongst nations.

In my mind, the World Cup is not just about the football, it’s not just about the winning but it’s also about bringing people together and sharing the elation of great goals, the sadness when your team gets knocked out and all the rest along the way. It’s about team spirit and sharing emotions.

Is it just me or do you also think the World Cup has a certain sense of wonder about it?!

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I enjoyed reading a post over at The Simple Dollar recently, called Nine Things I Do to Make Each Day Great. I thought I’d do my own similar version. Mine is more about getting the day off to a good start, which doesn’t guarantee a great day but at least means I start off as I mean to go on.

Here are 5 things that are important to me for beginning my day:

Shower before my husband leaves for work. Gone are the days when I could shower during my son’s morning nap so I jump in the shower after my husband and whilst my son is still sleeping. It wakes me up more than anything!

Breakfast. I’m one of these people who believes breakfast is an important meal of the day and I get grumpy if I don’t eat something by a certain point in the morning. I either eat just with my son or all three of us eat together if my husband hasn’t had to leave for work already.

Exercise. Generally 3 mornings a week, I go out to exercise and it makes me feel great and invigorated for the rest of the day. Two of those mornings, I go to BuggyFit (yes really, I still do that!). The third morning is usually a Saturday and we go as a family to the park. My husband and I take it turns to go for a run whilst the other one plays with our son.

Go for a walk. Especially if I’m not exercising, I still like to get out for a walk and enjoy some fresh air. I love to go out early while it’s still quiet and before lots of other people are out and about. My son enjoys it too!

Quick tidy-up. I always do a tidy-up before bed but usually in the morning there are few extra bits to do. Things like breakfast pots to wash or put in the dishwasher, maybe some washing that’s dried overnight and needs folding and putting away or a new load needs to go on. I like to get these little jobs done out of the way and before going out anywhere.

What are the kinds of things you like to do as part of your morning routine for a good start to your day?

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This is a guest post by Allison Evans, Hypnotherapist specialising in HypnoBirthing and HypnoBirthing Fertility Therapy.

If you’re reading a blog called “Mummy Zen,” you’re probably aware of the concept of mindfulness:  that is, bringing your full awareness to the present moment.  There is something about raising a child that seems to invite mindfulness.  You can’t help but notice how in-the-moment children are, how they delight in the smallest details, and you delight in their joy, too.  There’s also an undeniable pull out of the present moment, as we must think and plan for the future – “What do I need to pack for our outing?”  And as we reflect on past missteps – “How could I have forgotten the sun cream?”  This is just part of being human, especially when you are responsible to others!  But if you ever find yourself feeling disconnected, vaguely dissatisfied, quick to anger and wondering where your sense of humor has gone, mindfulness may be what you need.

A few years ago, when my children were four and two, that’s exactly where I was.  Fortunately for me, a friend introduced me to a wise Naturopathic Doctor.  Her simple suggestions turned my life around, and I have shared them – and some discoveries of my own – to many others to positive effect.   Here they are:

1.  Breathe. Deeply.  Every day.  Breath is foundational to the HypnoBirthing method that I teach.  Deep breathing actually short-circuits the body’s stress response, and helps to keep a mother in labour – or anyone – calm and in control, no matter the circumstances.  I now recommend that mothers continue their breathing exercises after their babies are born:  5-10 minutes of slow, deep breathing through the nose, two times per day, and in moments of stress.  Focus on the breath, allow it to be all you do for those 5-10 minutes, allow it to nourish you and be grateful for the simple miracle of breath!

2.  Mono-task. Yes, I mean stop all the multi-tasking!  Start by picking one routine task where your mind has a tendency to wander or that you might do while also talking on the phone.  For example, as you do the washing up, focus on each of your senses:  feel the warmth of the water, notice the flex of your arm muscles as you handle the dish, smell the fragrance of the dish soap, listen to the sound of the running water.  Avoid the tendency to mentally prepare yourself for your next task.  Focus on this one, menial chore and smile.  Smiling reinforces good feelings, similar to deep breathing.

3.  Allow yourself to be interrupted by your child at least once per day. How often has your child heard, “Just a minute, honey”?  As convenient as that phrase is, it does send a message to your child that the laundry is more important than she is.  Is it?  That’s mindfulness, too:  not just reacting, but taking the time to respond consciously.  If what you are doing is, in fact, time-critical, pause to hear her out.  Make eye-contact with her as you listen to what she needs, then give her a realistic time frame for when you can attend to her.  Similar to responding to your baby’s cries, this attention, even when it’s inconvenient, encourages her trust in you and the world.

4. Make a date with your child. Take a moment to think back over the last month.  What makes you smile to remember it?  Was it how clean your bathroom was?  A television programme?  More likely it was something your child did or said!  Schedule time each day to be present for such moments.

5.  Make a date with yourself. Make yourself a priority, just as you have made your child.  Get up earlier than your child so you can enjoy an hour or so of the prime morning time all to yourself.  If your child is a very early riser and that isn’t practical, use the child’s nap time to do something that restores you, such as meditating, reading a book, or corresponding with a friend.  Resist the urge to “get something done.”   It can wait.

These mindfulness exercises will ground you in your life and bring you a real sense of peace.  Enjoy!

I invite you to practice these mindfulness techniques and please share your own with us.  Let us know what happens!

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When our son was only about four months old, we had some friends who came to stay with their 2-year old son. For dinner, they got him some spaghetti in a tomato sauce. They sat him at the table with it but he seemed uninterested and despite some encouragement from his parents, wasn’t eating it.  The adults all got to talking and a few minutes later, our friend’s son was happily tucking into his plate of spaghetti. Once the attention had been taken away from him, he just got on with it.

I experienced a similar scenario with my own son, now aged 1 1/2 last week. He likes to feed himself but still has some trouble scooping food onto his spoon or fork so I help him with it. I had made him something for lunch that included some broccoli. It’s not his favourite vegetable but he does eat it and he liked everything else in the meal with it. I helped him get some onto the spoon and guided the spoon towards his mouth but he took one taste and spat out the broccoli! After a couple more tries, he was then refusing to put anything in his mouth so I just ignored him and ate some of my own lunch. In no time at all, he had the spoon in his hand and managed to scoop some food onto his spoon and into his mouth (including some broccoli). He was very impressed with himself and I clapped and congratulated him too. He proceeded to eat up all his lunch, including ever scrap of the broccoli!

I think these two examples highlight a couple of points. One is that around the age of 1 1/2-2 a child’s independence is developing and becoming more important to them. They like to do things their way and having someone standing over their shoulder or making them the centre of attention is maybe a bit threatening to their feeling of independence.

Secondly, without meaning to, sometimes parents can unintentionally put some pressure on their children at mealtimes. We all want our children to eat well, healthily and to eat a sensible amount for each meal. By focusing on their eating too much, we can forget that mealtimes should actually be a relaxed enjoyable family time.

Have you experienced similar situations with your children? Do you find they eat better when they are left to get on with it themselves?

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It’s always nice to return from holiday to a sunny warm London. It makes coming home after a wonderful time away less disheartening.

I love how London transforms in the spring and summer, from a cold, grey city with people bundled up and barely making eye contact, to a lively fun city with people sitting outside in cafes, parks, by the river, all feeling happier and more sociable. It’s a great time of year for families to get outside, have some fresh air, play in open spaces or take a day-trip somewhere. When the sun is out, people start planning picnics, barbeques and other outdoor get-togethers.

On Sunday 18 July, the Eden Project and its supporters invite you to participate in The Big Lunch. The idea is that you share a lunch or even go as far as throwing a street party with your neighbours. I think it’s a really nice idea for establishing or strengthening a sense of community in your local area and getting to know people right on your doorstep with whom you might never have crossed paths before.

By the time I heard about it last year (the first Big Lunch), it was a matter of days before and too late to organise anything. We live in an apartment building with a communal garden and I thought it would have been a perfect excuse to plan a barbeque or picnic out in the garden with everyone bringing food and drink to share. We hardly ever see any of our neighbours so it would be fun to find out who shares a building with us. According to The Big Lunch blog, research has revealed that nearly one in ten of us have no idea who lives next door!

If you are a bit hesitant about lunching with your neighbours, here are 6 reasons from The Big Lunch website as to why you should join in:

1. To stoke up community spirit – we call it Human Warming.
2. To make the third of us who live alone feel happier, closer and… friendlier.
3. To show how local people can change a neighbourhood for good, forever.
4. To conquer our natural shyness, to open our curtains, doors and minds and look out for one another the way we used to.
5. To share stories, skills and tools, so we all end up richer in every sense.
6. To discover common ground across age, class, faith, race and the garden fence, and to remind ourselves that charity begins at home, or at most, a couple of doors away.

Their website and blog provide all the information, tools and suggestions you could possibly need for organising a Big Lunch. Their latest blog post for example is the first of six posts about growing your own food for your Big Lunch! Alternatively, if you are less keen to organise it yourself but would like to participate in a local gathering, you can search for one taking place in your area. July might seem a long way off, but if The Big Lunch sounds like something you’d enjoy, I’ve given you plenty of notice to start thinking and planning!

Do you know your neighbours well? Had you heard about The Big Lunch? What do you think about the idea?

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