Mummy Zen

This Sunday is Mother’s Day in the UK, a day to let our mums know how special they are to us. As we don’t live in the same country, I won’t get to see my Mum on Sunday but we’ll make do with a video call on Skype. As for myself, I’ve already put my order in for breakfast in bed!

I got to thinking about some of the fond memories I share with my Mum. There are many from the past and many more to come I’m sure. When I was young, we did lots of cooking together which I loved and she always baked impressive cakes for my birthday parties. She also did lots of sewing and made great costumes for my ballet and other dance performances. She’s always encouraged the adventurous side in me and let me travel alone to visit friends in France in my early teens and then to go to Austria to work as Au Pair when I was 17. She was always there on the end of the phone when I was having big dilemmas or stress with my wedding planning four years ago. She burst into tears of joy when I announced I was pregnant two years ago (on video on Skype ). My Mum gives me lots to be thankful for, lots to learn from and lots to live up to!

Last year was my first Mother’s Day. My son was around 3 months old. I remember it was a cold but bright sunny day. We went out for breakfast and my son sat peacefully in his pram so my husband and I got to eat a leisurely breakfast. One year on and whilst he still won’t be aware of Mother’s Day this year, it means the world to me to be his mummy and to have such a treasure in my life. That alone assures I’ll enjoy the day!

Now onto the ticket giveaway……I have four tickets to see Nanny McPhee and The Big Bang this Sunday, 14 March in London. The film stars Emma Thompson, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Ralph Fiennes, Rhys Ifans and Maggie Smith. It would be a great family outing to celebrate Mother’s Day and a chance to see the film before its official release date of 26 March. There’ll be ‘fun in the foyer’ before the film itself starts at 11am. Perfect timing for going for a nice lunch after seeing the movie!

For a chance to win the four tickets, simply share a muumy-related memory in the comments section. It might be about your mum or about yourself and your children. A winner will be selected on Friday and the tickets will be emailed in time for the event on Sunday. Good luck!

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Today is International Women’s Day. It’s a day to celebrate  women’s economic, political and social achievements and started back in the early 1900s. In some countries it’s an official holiday where men honour the women in their lives by giving flowers and small gifts. Events are held all around the world today, bringing attention to women’s progress and their accomplishments. Although IWD  initially represented women’s fight for better pay, voting rights and an end to discrimination, today it focuses more on inspiring women worldwide and celebrating their achievements.

A fitting example of a great female success story is last night’s Oscar award for best Director going to Kathryn Bigelow for the film, The Hurt Locker. Kathryn has made history as the first woman to win the award – an impressive achievement!

On a less glamourous scale, the United Nations (who now sponsor the annual 8 March IWD), highlighted in their statement for this year’s IWD, the commendable attitude and efforts of the women in Haiti. They have done so much to aid the recovery efforts by helping look after communities and neighbourhoods, caring for children and sharing what little they do have with those around them. The United Nations Development Fund for Women Executive Director also expresses how the female President of Chile has tried to learn from the examples of those women in Haiti:

Two weeks ago the President of Chile, Michele Bachelet, travelled to Haiti to express solidarity with these women struggling to rebuild their lives and communities — and this week she is inspiring her own country to come back stronger from another devastating earthquake. This is the kind of leadership, from the community to the highest level, that women have demonstrated in all places seeking to come back from conflict and crisis. But unlike in Chile, women are rarely part of the decision-making process on relief or resources, or on how to plan for the next time disaster strikes.

I think International Women’s Day is a great reminder of the many inspirational, admirable women in the world and their achivements both big and small that impact others on all kinds of different levels. We can all probably think of a female who’s demonstrated something significant and worthy of celebration today. Let’s take a moment to applaud and learn from these women.

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We are in the midst of Fairtrade Fortnight which is running from 22 February through to 7 March. The Fairtrade Foundation launched a campaign called The Big Swap, suggesting we all swap our usual products for Fairtrade versions during these two weeks- everything from our morning cup of tea to the lip balm we use. It’s a simple way we can all make a small difference and show a stance towards helping developing world producers.

I have to admit I’m not an active shopper of Fairtrade goods, but for no particular reason. I recognise the value of the Fairtrade label which indicates a guarantee that the producer has been paid a minimum price for their produce and that a premium has been paid to support social, environmental and development projects. However, not all crops are covered under Fairtrade and there is no recompense for the quality of the items. Unfortunately it is not available to some farmers in more developed countries who experience the same kind of exploitation as someone in a more developing country.

Having said all that, when you read on the Fairtrade Foundation site  that a third of the world survive on less than $2 a day, it’s clear that there are a lot of people out there who are struggling with unfair trade rules that leave them powerless to improve their own situation. Any help is beneficial and it’s great if we can all do something towards the efforts of the Fairtrade Foundation.

The idea of The Big Swap makes it easy for us all to make a small contribution during Fairtrade Fortnight. Just by choosing the Fairtrade products when you’re next in the supermarket can help towards a consolidated step to offering a better deal for producers in the developing world. With pretty much everything having a Fairtrade option these days, it’s a good way to try something different too. Whilst it might mean you’re not buying your usual brand of a particular food, slowly but surely manufacturers are making changes, with companies like Cadbury who switched to Fairtrade certified cocoa at the end of last year and Ben and Jerry’s who recently announced that their entire global ice cream range will go Fairtrade from 2013.

I might be a little late in participating but I think I’ll make the effort this next week to buy Fairtrade where possible. What are your thoughts? Do you buy Fairtrade produce? Will you be making some swaps for the remainder of Fairtrade Fortnight?

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We watched the film, ‘The Age of Stupid‘ at the weekend. For those of you who haven’t seen it, it’s a film about climate change and the link between our current lifestyles and the probable climate change impacts that will result for future generations.  A narrator (supposedly in the year 2055) shows actual news clips from 2008 and wonders how the people living at that time could have misunderstood climate change when the evidence was on obvious display. We also follow the stories of seven real people, each from a different country and each presenting a different perspective to a particular issue of climate-change. The film poses the hypothetical question of why we ignored the signs, the warnings and the advice of global warming scientists and essentially brought about own ruin (by 2055) through our own inaction.

On the one hand, it didn’t tell my husband and I anything we didn’t already know. Humans are using up the earth’s resources faster than they are being reproduced, ice caps are melting, there is very little political will at the local or global level to implement change, air travel is the most detrimental effect individuals make towards global warming etc…. On the other hand, there was something about the movie that really made an impression on me. One of the scientists interviewed mentioned that because the effects of global warming are not immediate, people find it hard to comprehend the necessity to act now. I think that’s true. We hear a fair amount about climate change on the news and yet many of us are still sceptical / reluctant / lazy about doing something to help avoid the effects of global warming on the earth and on future generations.

As parents, our outlook on world issues certainly changes when there are little people to consider. You feel a sense of responsibility for your children and want to leave them the world as a good place, even better than you found it. Things that might not have interested you previously suddenly take on a significance, from politics to the environment. ‘The Age of Stupid‘ struck a chord with me and highlighted the importance of acting now and doing everything we can, before there’s no time left. We need to look ahead to assure a safe and happy future for our children and grandchildren.

Part of the reason people are not taking enough action right now is I think because it involves making choices that go against what we’re used to and that disrupt our comfort zone. Take flying for example. One of my close friends saw this movie before we did and commented that whilst she recognised the concern of climate change, she couldn’t envisage cutting down on her flights. She’s a voracious traveller and doesn’t yet have children. She’s somewhere in the Carribean as I write…. I also love to travel and between us, my husband and I have close family in three different countries so not flying isn’t an easy option for us. We can however make choices, like taking to the train to visit my parents in France or taking our own holidays closer to home to avoid air travel.

One of the characters in the film is a British windfarmer and you watch with dismay and a bit of disgust as his proposed windfarm in Bedfordshire is denied, mainly because the locals don’t want their view spoilt. At some point, we have to acknowledge that compromises have to be made – we can’t have it all. Or rather, if we try to have it all, there will be nothing left for future generations.

One of my new year’s resolutions this year is to be more green. Specifically, I’m aiming to do small things like switch off the toaster, kettle, coffee maker etc at the plug each night, waste less water when washing up dishes, be more aware of our use of electricity (lighting in particular) and reduce my usage of plastic bags in supermarkets (by taking my own re-usable bags). After watching this film, I went to the Not Stupid website and was pleased to see it full of helpful suggestions of how we can each contribute to reducing the impact of global warming. It suggests you firstly sign up to the 10:10 campaign, whereby we all work together to cut the UK’s carbon emissions by 10%. Each month, you’ll be given a tip on how to reduce your own carbon footprint. Have a look at their checklist for some ideas to get you started. I’ve signed up. You should too! If you’re not in the UK, have a look at their global site.

If you haven’t yet seen The Age of Stupid, you can download it from the official site here. If you’ve seen the film, what did you think about it? What are your thoughts on climate change and cutting carbon emissions?

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I’ve mentioned before that we get an organic vegetable box delivered to our home each week. It means we eat seasonally and consume (relatively) locally sourced food without the conscience of air miles. The boxes come in different sizes for different sized households. The contents are published on their website a week in advance so you can choose to add to your box or even create your own box if some of the vegetables are not too your liking that week, or you just can’t face another week of cooking with cabbage!

For the most part I go with the standard box, as opposed to creating my own. Whilst some customers might lament of receiving spinach for five consecutive weeks when in season, I find it a fun challenge to try new recipes, cooking it in different ways. The downside to having their standard box is that sometimes you inevitably receive vegetables that you don’t like. That happened last week – we got brussel sprouts and beetroot, both of which I really dislike.

The vegetables are all fresh, flavourful and of excellent quality. I’m certainly not going to waste any, even if I don’t like them. Instead, I make an effort to find a recipe that involves being a bit more creative with the particular vegetable. With last week’s examples, I made a soup with the brussel sprouts and a cake with the beetroot. Both are delicious! I get a real sense of satisfaction when I find a way to eat a food I wouldn’t ordinarily ever choose or take delight in eating.

Just as baby food books talk about disguising vegetables for little fussy eaters, the same applies to us as adults. If like me, you groan at the mention of brussel sprouts with the traditional English Christmas dinner, try cooking them differently and see how they go down. Finely slicing them and frying with chilli and ginger renders them a whole different texture and taste to the regular boiled version.

Do you have any inventive ways to cook your least favourite vegetables?

The title of this post refers to a video group set up by a guy called Garrett Murray on Flickr. The idea is to shoot a video of a day in your life, put it together to last no more than 90 seconds and post it on his video group. No music or sound effects should be added.

There’s something about this idea I really like. We’re so wrapped up in going about our regular activities each day that we probably don’t realise what we do because it all seems like the daily humdrum. Watching Garrett’s video, you get the impression technology is a very important part of his life! He appears to live alone and not have a family though. I think we all might get a surprisingly interesting perspective on our own lives if we did a video along these lines. There might be something we do a lot of that we hadn’t ever noticed before.

It could also be a helpful little project in the same way when you get video taken of you when you are teacher training, doing a course on presentation skills or learning a golf swing for example. Watching videos of yourself can make you cringe but also reveal things you do that you were completely unaware you did. Incidentally my husband just told me this weekend of something he’s noticed me saying lots recently which I wasn’t even aware of.

I think it can be good for us to look at ourselves and our actions from an outsider’s view. I’m not suggesting we all go and make our 90 second video of a day in our lives but we might want to consider what that video would show us if we did make it. What do you think a stranger watching you go about your day might notice or wonder? Maybe we sit at home too much and need to get out more. Maybe the tone of voice we use with our partner or children could be nicer and more reasonable. Maybe we don’t play enough with our children or have proper conversations with our partner. Maybe we’re always picking at food but not eating healthy nutritious meals.

With a little reflection, we would all probably notice elements of our daily lives that could be improved. Ordinarily, we would just carry on as usual without stopping to think about it but we’d probably benefit from taking time to reflect.

Have you ever been made aware of something you didn’t know you did? Have your own reflections lead you to make any big or small changes in your life?

You can see Garrett’s video, ‘My Day, yesterday’ here.

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Photo by Mark Hillary

If anyone came to mummyzen.com last Thursday around noon, you’d have found no site! Regular readers amongst you might have noticed a couple of missing recent posts. Whilst trying to back-up my files, I accidentally deleted them! You can imagine my despair.  Luckily, not too much is missing and I can live with a little gap in my posts. Apologies to those readers who had commented on the missing posts and whose comments are therefore now lost.

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We all know that making a small gesture towards someone, such as a phone-call to a friend/relative living alone or giving flowers will bring that person a whole lot of happiness and makes them feel cared for. The same principle applies when we make a  small effort to do something for ourselves. It’s maybe even harder to make the effort when it’s not for someone else, but it’s no less important or beneficial. Often the hardest part about it is that the time when you need to make the effort is usually when you feel least like doing so.

My husband’s been away most of this week for work. Last night, I felt tired, had a bit of a headache and generally couldn’t be bothered to do much. I was deciding what to make myself for dinner and wondering if I could eat pasta and pesto (my default quick and easy meal) for the second time this week. Then I felt ashamed of myself. I love cooking and always thought I wouldn’t be one of those people who says it’s no fun cooking for one. I knew it wouldn’t take me long to make myself a nice bowl of soup which would be a healthier meal and more what I felt like eating. So that’s what I did. I forced myself to make a little effort and felt all the better for it.

When we’re feeling tired, emotional, depressed or a bit run down we usually lack motivation to do much at all. However, what seems such a struggle at the time, really only requires a little effort. If we make ourselves do one small thing, it tends to do a world of good and make us feel much better. Think about the times when you’re not feeling in a sociable mood and just want to curl up on the sofa at home…..you’ll probably find that a chat with a friend revives you and is exactly what you need to perk you up. Or when you look outside at the rain and the grey sky and think that the last thing you want to do is go out for a walk – often a walk is the best thing for you and you feel better for getting out of the house.

Next time you feel a bit deflated for whatever reason, try to reason with yourself and do whatever it is you’re not quite in the mood to do. By making a small effort, I’m sure you will benefit more than you might expect.

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Welcome to Mummy Zen, which has launched today! I wanted to create a blog for mums with useful practical information and suggestions, as well as more contemplative content focusing on enjoying a healthy balance in our busy lives. Being a mum takes up a lot of our time and energy and it’s a constant learning and enriching experience. However, there’s another side to us and it’s just as important to put time and energy into that part of our life. By feeling happy, healthy and having dreams and goals to pursue, I think we all feel better equipped to be a good mum, friend, wife, partner and can achieve a cohesive balance all round.

Mummy Zen will be a sharing of thoughts, experiences and ideas ranging from the day-to-day basics to more specialised insight from some of our contributors. We can all learn from each other and benefit from different perspectives so you’ll find regular guest posts on the site and links to other sites and articles that I come across and think are worth sharing. Please feel free to add comments to any of the posts and to offer your own ideas to fellow readers.

Thanks for coming to check out the site and I hope you come back for more…. There’ll be 2-3 posts per week. Bookmark the site or subscribe to the RSS feed to keep updated!