Mummy Zen

The first month of a new year should have a sense of optimism about it but for some people, January can seem like a long hard slog of a month to get through. I have offered some tips at the end of this post to try to help you get through the rest of the month without feeling like you have the January blues.

The buzz and excitement from Christmas and New Year celebrations have died down. We’re still in the midst of winter so there’s cold weather, it gets dark in the early afternoon and going out can be more of an effort. It’s too far from the beginning of spring to be thinking of brighter, lighter days. Some of us who enjoyed a festive period surrounded by family and friends may suddenly feel lonely once everyone has gone back to their own homes or returned to work. 31 days in the month can seem a long time to those people who over-spent at Christmas and are counting down to pay day….. Now let’s start thinking about how to brighten up the dark days and lift our spirits at this time of year!

All the things that would make us feel better (exercise, fresh air, healthy food) are too often not what people turn to. You hear excuses that it’s too cold to go out and exercise, too dark for a walk, and a chocolate bar is just what we need to cheer us up. We all know of course that staying inside, feeling miserable and eating chocolate won’t lift our spirits. Here are some things to try:

1. Go out in the morning for some fresh air and to get out of the house again before it does get dark. Get well wrapped up if it’s really cold out there, pull on an anorak and wellies if it’s raining.
2. Eat warming healthy comfort food that’s tasty and filling – hearty soups & stews,  cooked fruit etc.
3. Have some fresh flowers around the house for a burst of pretty colour.
4. Wear something colourful or an item of clothing that makes you feel good (so many people in London wear black clothing, it’s nice to see a change)
5. Do some exercise or vigorous cleaning to keep you warm and get your heartbeat raised. If exercising, try to enlist a friend for company and help with motivation during the winter months.
6. Use the extra time you are spending at home to work on something you’ve been putting off, for even just 5-10 mins a day (adding photos in an album, updating your baby book….).
7. Listen to upbeat, lively music to keep you in an upbeat mood.
8. Make the most of the dark evenings and surprise your loved one with a cosy candle-lit dinner or snuggle up together under a blanket to watch a movie.
9. Enjoy your Christmas gifts. If you got some nice new books, CDs, DVDs, pampering products, set time aside in an evening to relax and enjoy them.
10. Plan fun activities. These need not be costly. Invite friends over for dinner or for a movie night, have a girly clothes-swap party, go to a late-night exhibition view at a gallery…It’s nice to have things to look forward to.

Do you ever feel a bit of the January blues? Do you have some other suggestions to add to the list above?

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Photo credit

This is a guest post by Jacqui Porjes, Personal Trainer, BuggyFit and Yoga Instructor.

Photo by Adria Richards

As 2010 beckons, many of us will be aiming for a healthy start to the year. One way to begin as you mean to go on is to make some fitness resolutions.

On average only about 20% of us keep our New Year’s resolutions. Unfortunately, some of the biggest failures are found in fitness resolutions. No need to let the statistics get you down though. By following the tips below you’ll be better equipped to fall into the successful 20% category.

Choose an attainable goal. Resolving to look like a model is not realistic for most of us, but promising to include daily physical activity in our lives is very possible.

Avoid choosing a resolution that you’ve been unsuccessful at achieving year after year. This will only set you up for failure, frustration and disappointment. If you are still tempted to make a promise that you’ve made before, then try altering it. For example, instead of stating that you are going to lose 30 pounds, try promising to eat healthier and increase your weekly exercise.

Create a game plan. At the beginning of January, write a comprehensive plan. All successful businesses start with a business plan that describes their mission and specifics on how they will achieve it. Write your own personal plan and you’ll be more likely to succeed as well.

Break it down and make it less intimidating. Rather than one big end goal, dissect it into smaller pieces. Set several smaller goals to achieve throughout the year that will help you to reach the ultimate goal. Then, even if you aren’t able to reach your final goal, you will have many smaller, but still significant, achievements along the way. For example, if your goal is to complete a 10K race, your smaller goals could be running a 5K in less than 30 minutes, adding upper and lower body strength training to increase your muscular endurance, and running 2 miles with a personal best completion time.

Make contingency plans: don’t assume sticking to your plan will be smooth sailing. Plan on hitting bumps along the resolution road and be prepared with specific ways to overcome them. What will keep you from skipping your workout or stop you from having a cigarette? This may mean seeking help from family or a professional, writing in a journal, etc.

Give it time: most experts agree that it takes about 21 days to create a habit and six months for it to actually become a part of your daily life.

Reward yourself with each milestone. If you’ve stuck with your resolution for 2 months, treat yourself to something special. But, be careful of your reward type. If you’ve lost 5 pounds, don’t give yourself a piece of cake as a reward. Instead, treat yourself to something non-food related, like a professional massage.

Ask friends and family members to help you. It’s good to have someone to be accountable to. Just be sure to set limits so that this doesn’t backfire and become more irritating than helpful. For example, if you resolve to be more positive ask them to gently remind you when you start talking negatively.

Don’t go it alone! Get professional assistance. Everyone needs help and sometimes a friend just isn’t enough. Sometimes you need the help of a trained professional. Don’t feel that seeking help is a way of copping out. Especially when it comes to fitness, research studies have shown that assistance from a fitness professional greatly improves people’s success rate.

Limit your number of promises. You’ll spread yourself too thin trying to make multiple changes in your life. This will just lead to failure of all of the resolutions.

Test your flexibility: realize that things change frequently. Your goals and needs may be very different in April then they were when you made your resolution in January. Embrace change, even if that means that your resolution is altered.

Keep a journal. A journal helps you recognize your positive steps and makes it harder to go back to the same old habits.

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Jacqui Porjes | 07947 568890 | Jacqui@porjes.com |www.buggyfit.co.uk

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Mummy Zen: You’ll find you can apply these same tips to many other types of new year’s resolutions, not just those related to fitness.

Do you have any other tips to share? What has worked for you in the past, enabling you to stick to your goals?

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Photo by Eriwst

We all have times when we get flustered, stressed or anxious about something. Going into panic mode only makes matters worse and what we really need to do is take a moment to calm ourselves down so we can then deal with the situation appropriately. I’ve put together a list of techniques below.

Anything from being with a crying baby who can’t seem to be consoled to dealing with a demanding boss or a stressful social occasion can result in us feeling overwhelmed. By calming ourselves down we can feel a bit more in control of what’s going on and act accordingly. If you are calm, those around you will tend to also be calm and that can only be a good thing. Next time you are tearing your hair out, try a couple of these techniques and hopefully you will feel the benefit:

Take some deep breaths (count in for 4 and out for 4). Even better if you can close your eyes whilst doing so.

Actively relax your body. Try scrunching your shoulders up towards your ears, hold for a couple of seconds and then drop them purposefully. Head rolls and stretching exercises can also help.

Have a hug from a loved one or friend.

Get some fresh air. Always a good way to clear your head. A brisk walk around the block or even in your garden if you have one can work wonders. You can take a screaming baby or toddler along and it might just help them calm down too!

Do something else (if possible). Anything to distract you from what’s making you tense and anxious. Clean something, call a friend…

Walk away from the situation for a couple of minutes (if possible). If you’re dealing with a toddler tantrum in the middle of a supermarket, this isn’t really an option but if you’re having an disagreement at home, go into another room for a breather.

What techniques do you use to calm yourself down in a stressful or difficult situation?

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As we are just days away from Christmas now, most people are busy with last-minute preparations and probably don’t have a lot of spare time to think about much else! Getting wrapped up in the festivities and the feeling busy that comes with this time of year, seems to last all the way through until the new year. Are we really all so busy or is it a welcome distraction from the day-to-day normality? What is the best way of staying happy throughout the festive season?

One thing I realised I have been guilty of in the past is using Christmas and the holiday as an excuse not to do the things I’d do in any other week of the year. Things that make me feel good, like exercise. Or I do things I wouldn’t usually do in a regular week, like unnecessary shopping (lured by the sales) or eating way too much chocolate. Lots of people complain that they feel unhealthy, sluggish and a bit depressed after Christmas and I think these types of things are part of the reason.

It’s great to have a relaxing time over Christmas, enjoy some special treats and do activities you might not have the time to do when your partner is not at home to help with the children. I think it’s important to do different, fun things as a family and not worry too much about the regular routine. However, there are some things it’s good to keep doing, to help keep you feel happy and healthy. If you normally go for a run, a workout or some kind of exercise, that’s probably one part of your routine you might consider keeping over Christmas. You’ll feel better for it and indulging in richer festive food won’t then be so bad

When the Christmas holiday comes to an end, your husband or partner goes back to work, and you’re left with a house that needs a good clean, a body that needs a detox, your purse strings feeling tight and a pile of new gifts and sale purchases to find uses for and space to put away, you’ll probably feel pretty miserable. Instead, if you do a little bit of cleaning most days (just 10 minutes of tackling one small area of the house), you won’t get a build-up of dirt and clutter. If you intersperse your rich meals with healthy light foods (fresh fruit and vegetables, nuts, seeds etc) and keep your body hydrated by drinking plenty of water in-between glasses of wine, you won’t feel so full and bloated. A brisk family walk every day can be an enjoyable activity if you go somewhere new or stop off to see friends and getting out alone for a run or to do some other kind of exercise will be reinvigorating and mood-enhancing!

It’s good to remember what Christmas is all about and what it means for you and your family. I think we need to be wary of using it as an excuse to do or not do certain activities that we enjoy and benefit from, even if they don’t seem so attractive at the time. You can make these things fun so they feel less of a chore. Eating healthily after a day of indulgence, can be more enjoyable if it involves cooking a new recipe and being a bit more adventurous with food. Exercise can be easy to do if you play a game or sport with family or friends. To really have a happy Christmas, you need to feel happy yourself!

Is there anything that you do or don’t do , routines that you keep or discard during the holidays to keep in the festive spirit?

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Photo by Jenny Downing

This week I’m following a ‘Yogic diet’, also known as an Ayurvedic diet. My yoga teacher asked for a couple of volunteers to trial the diet for a week to help her with something she’s writing. Always one for a challenge, I was keen to participate. (It’s not a diet to lose weight, more a kind of eating regime).

I’ll provide you with a couple of links at the end of this post for those of you interested in finding out more but here’s the basic idea…. Ayurveda is the traditional medicine of India, originating over 5,000 years ago. Its focus is on re-establishing balance in the body through diet, lifestyle, exercise, and body cleansing, and on the health of the mind, body, and spirit.

Firstly I had to identify my Ayurvedic type, of which there are three: Vata, Pitta and Kapha. There’s then a corresponding list of foods for each type and the object is to eat the foods that are ‘balancing’ and steer clear of those that are ‘aggravating’. As expected, caffeine and alcohol are to be avoided and the more fresh fruit and vegetables eaten, the better. Your stomach should ideally be 50% food, 25% water and 25% empty.

For my yoga teacher I am keeping a food diary that has to be submitted once the week is up. It’s the first time I’ve kept a food diary. It certainly makes you more conscious of what you eat when you know somebody else will know about it! I don’t think it would be so effective if my yoga teacher wasn’t going to be reading it.

Being a vegetarian, I thought I would find this ‘diet’ a breeze. Instead, it has been quite challenging but in a positive way. It’s given me an insight into my eating patterns and tendencies and I have had to be more creative with certain foods. As a couple of examples, in an effort to eat seeds I have had pumpkin seeds sprinkled on my porridge and sunflower seeds in a salad. That’s another thing – salads. Generally I rarely eat salads in the winter, instead prefering something warming in the cold weather, like soup or jacket potatoes. I’ve really been enjoying the salads this week and have made a tasty variety to keep them interesting.

We get a box of organic vegetables delivered to us each week so eat fresh, seasonal vegetables on a very regular basis. This week though, I had to go and buy a load more to last me the week. It made me wonder if we really do eat a lot of vegetables or do I make myself less-nutritious lunches in an average week?

I’m enjoying the questions arrising from following this ‘diet’ and the need to think a bit broader when deciding what to eat for a meal. If nothing else, I will have gained a good look at my own eating habits and will have learned to be a bit more creative with the food I eat.

Have you ever kept a food diary or followed a diet that’s forced you to be more creative with food?

Find out your Ayurvedic type here and list of foods to eat here.

The other morning, I was walking past a local cafe and saw a mum I knew sitting in the window, sipping on a coffee and reading a newspaper. I gave her a wave and thought to myself how nice to just be able to go have a coffee and enjoy a bit of ‘me time’ in the morning. Her two children had already been dropped off at school and she works part-time so was probably on her way to work.

As a mother, and as a stay-at-home mother particularly, ‘me time’ can be hard to come by. There are opportunities of course and it’s important to take as many of these as you can. Maybe a family member or friend is able to come over to babysit for an hour or so while you go out to get a haircut or meet a friend for coffee. If your child goes to nursery or school and you’re not at work, you can do a little something for yourself amidst the daily chores. After the little ones have gone to bed is another good time, as are weekends when Dad is at home. You can get out by yourself or even stay in but do something relaxing and indulgent for yourself.

By ‘me time’, I mean time to yourself to spend as you like. That might be alone time; going for a walk or a coffee to enjoy some quiet and be with your own thoughts. It might be seeing friend for a chat and laughter over dinner or a glass of wine. Maybe you use your ‘me time’ for a bit of pampering like a well-deserved massage. Whatever you choose to do, the important part is to feel like that bit of time is all yours.

Even an hour can be a nice break and gives you a chance to step back from the day-to-day routine. ‘Me time’ helps you recharge and feel energised. It gives you a respite from monotony and the humdrum. I know whenever I get out for some ‘me time’, I return feeling lighter, happier and enthused to be back with my family doing all the regular things.

To help you get the most out of your ‘me time’, I’ve come up with these four tips:

• Schedule it. Put a time in your diary and stick to it to ensure you don’t miss out. This is especially important if you don’t have family or friends nearby to help out with babysitting as it’s easy for the time to pass without you getting a breather.
• Plan it. Decide how you want to use your ‘me time’ so you don’t waste any of it.
• Mix it up. If you usually use your ‘me time’ to catch up with friends, be sure to allocate some time that’s for you alone. It’s good to have a bit of quiet time for yourself too and really helps you relax and recharge.
• Encourage it. Everyone needs their ‘me time’ so help your husband/partner fit in his fair share too. You’ll get the benefit of their time out too when they come back energised and feeling in a good mood.

The School of Life, for those of you not familiar with the organisation, is a little place in London offering courses and services to people who want to expand their mind on topics ranging from philosophy to literature, psychology to the visual arts. Some of the staff, faculty and ambassadors write interesting little musings on their blog and last week I read one about ‘The Fear of the Amateur’. In the post, Cathy Haynes presents a view that we have all veered so much towards being audience-critics, with the plethora of TV shows on DIY, cooking, home renovations, singing and dancing; that we no longer dare try being ‘amateurs’ at a new skill, hobby or activity.

“We fear the amateur in case it causes us to loose face and look uncool. But at the root of the word amateur is the Latin amare, to love. An amateur pursuit is something we have genuine passion for, regardless of how we look to the outside world. By abandoning it, we lose the pleasure of doing something that is playful, creative, absorbing, and solely for itself.”

Haynes thinks that we would sooner buy something than make it because we think a purchased product much superior to anything we could produce ourselves. I would add to that, the issue of time. People are always rushing to get things done or wanting to have something new immediately so they just go out and buy it rather than thinking about spending any time on it. Part of the fun of play I think is getting absorbed in what you are doing so that you don’t give a thought about the time.

As adults, play shouldn’t be something we leave to our children. Just as they enjoy making things and creating, we should remember that we can also still have that kind of enjoyment. It’s not about making something perfect, it’s about engaging in an activity which can be relaxing, intellectually stimulating, challenging and fun!

Read ‘Cathy Haynes on the Fear of the Amateur’ here.

Photo by Will Foster

I read a good list yesterday; ‘Eight Tips for Feeling More Energetic‘ (see link at end of post). With each one, I could definitely say I knew it worked for me. Often the hardest challenge when you are feeling lethargic or in a bit of a slump is making yourself get up and do something that will make you feel better. You know that a brisk walk or a chat with a friend will give you the boost you need but it’s the’ doing it’ that can be difficult.

When there’s a baby or young child added to the equation, it can sometimes be even more of a mission to take a nap or resist reaching for the chocolate. You need your energy more than ever if you are at home looking after a little one so it is important to do what you can to conserve it or bring it back if you have a lapse.

How to summon the energy (or motivation) to follow helpful suggestions? Well, one good way is to do the things listed on a regular basis. For example, get out for a walk every morning or lunchtime and see or call a friend for a chat at least 4 times a week. By incorporating the suggested tips into your daily life, they become easier to do when you need to do them at a specific moment in order to feel more energetic.

Another idea is to mentally visualise the last time you felt energetic and remember what led you to feel like that. Chances are, you had done something off the aforementioned list of tips. Whilst it can be a mind over matter struggle, by identifying something that worked for you before, you hopefully will want to do the same thing again to return to that feeling of energy.

Read ‘Eight Tips for Feeling More Energetic‘ here.

This is a post I wrote for the London Mums Blog that I wanted to share with Mummy Zen readers too.

The whole family is suffering from colds at the moment. I rarely got colds before our son was born and now in his ten months of life, I’ve lost count of the number of colds we’ve all had and how many sick days my husband’s taken! It starts with my son and then it’s just a matter of days before my husband and I get it and it seems to take so long for us all to be properly better again. Parents of older children tell us how it only gets worse, as once they attend school they pick up bugs all the time.

Being ill with a baby is in itself something challenging too. You can’t just have a duvet day and wallow in your own self-pity when there’s a little one to look after. They are miserable with their sniffles and you are miserable with yours and it all makes for some long days. If you are both feeling up to going out for a walk then I think that helps, just to get out of the house and have some fresh air. If you are lucky enough to have a family member or friend nearby who can come over and keep you company or help with the baby while you have a rest, then that’s a great option. Other than that, you have to be patient and remind yourself that you will soon be better and back to your usual selves.

As we are moving into peak cold-catching season, I am keen to try anything and everything to avoid more colds in the family. Here’s what I researched on the matter of cold prevention and the best ways to deal with a cold when you do have one. You’ve probably read it all before but a reminder for this time of year can only be a good thing. I learnt, for example, that I definitely don’t wash my hands for long enough at a time and that I shouldn’t share a drinking glass with my husband as I often do….And how many people do you see on the tube who sneeze or cough into a tissue???

TO AVOID A COLD:

- Wash your hands regularly, so that germs get killed. Sing ‘Happy Birthday’ twice whilst doing so. It’s the rubbing of your hands that gets rid of the germs.

- Moderate daily exercise is linked to a reduced risk of colds

- Get out for some fresh air. Central heating dries out your your body making you more susceptible to catching colds

- Take regular saunas! A 1989 study revealed that those who took a sauna twice a week got half as many colds as those who didn’t.

- Avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth to reduce your chances of infection.

IF YOU HAVE A COLD:

- Don’t share drinking glasses or utensils with anyone as this will spread a virus.

- Drink lots of fluids to avoid dehydration, ideally 6-8 glasses of water a day.

- Get as much rest as you can during the day and plenty of sleep at night.

- Eat hot (spicy) foods: ginger, chilli, garlic, wasabi and horseradish are all good for your immune system

- Eat fruit rich in vitamin C.

- Always sneeze and cough into tissues, not into your hands

Do you have any other tips that work for your family to keep colds at bay?

I still remember the upsetting phone conversation where I was told my grandmother’s death was imminent. That was nine years ago when I was living in Italy. I’d had the conversation at a phone box on the street and came back to the flat barely able to fight back the tears. One of my flatmates, Steve, gave me a hug and said some nice words but then his next suggestion took me aback. He told me I should do some cleaning. A moment later, both of us had cleaning supplies out and were cleaning parts of the flat that had never been cleaned before. Strange as it may sound, it was the best possible way to spend my time and really helped me focus on something, so as not to sit and dwell on the sad news I’d just received.

I’ve used cleaning since then as a kind of therapeutic outlet and wanted to share with you some reasons why I think doing some cleaning really can make you feel better. Here are 5 for you:

1. It clears your mind and keeps your head empty of thoughts because you are concentrating on the task in hand
2. You move parts of your body so it’s a mild form of exercise and (in my humble opinion) shares similar benefits of releasing endorphins, thus improving your mood
3. It gives you almost instant visual gratification to see the area you’ve been working on become clean and spotless
4. As a mother, you feel happier knowing you’ve helped towards providing a cleaner, safer environment for your child
5. ‘Tidy house, tidy mind’. Having a less cluttered, disorganised home makes you feel more organised and focused

Next time you feel upset or frustrated about something, try doing a bit of cleaning. It doesn’t have to be a lot, just 10 minutes of thorough cleaning will make you feel better.