Comments on: Trying Toddlers

By: Lucy Quick

Lucy Quick — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 20:54:23 +0000

I think I’d agree – it’s not a great idea to resort to a bribe every time – although sometimes it’s a totally understandable reaction!

I think the main thing is to stay calm yourself – often easier said than done though

By: It's a mummys life

It's a mummys life — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 20:05:20 +0000

Good advice. Although I too use bribery when stuck in the moment and need to get out of it. My toddler goes crazy when ignored and distraction is very definately the best means. But I do try never to judge my fellow mummys, god knows what sort of day they’ve had!

By: Mummy Zen

Mummy Zen — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 16:42:04 +0000

Marcus – thanks for leaving a comment and for your tip of talking through an event with your child before it happens.

Erin – the counting technique is a good one and seems to be effective with older toddlers.

21st Century Mummy – thanks for sharing your experiences with your daughter. Interesting and impressive that she’s the calmest child at nursery!

By: 21st Century Mummy

21st Century Mummy — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 15:44:00 +0000

Hi, great post and I absolutely agree with your 3 ways to deal with tantrums. I thought we’d got off lightly with toddler tantrums, however in the past month (my daughter is nearly 2 and a half) they are coming more and more frequently – apparently she is the calmest child at nursery – until she gets home that is.

If she’s having a tantrum she throws herself on the floor and cries a very fake cry with a high pitched scream. Sometimes I find it funny (it’s hard not to laugh) other times it drives me mad.

I think after it’s over, it’s good to give them a cuddle and tell them you love them.

By: Erin

Erin — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 10:51:32 +0000

Distraction by whatever means are available in the given situation is definitely my primary tactic. I also try to speak calmly and cleary to clever preschooler and tell him that he has until I count to 5 or 10 to calm down or else he’s going to his bed.

Typically, as soon as I begin counting he realizes that he can either stop his tantrum and have/do whatever I’m offering or not have anything, so calm is quickly restored.

By: Marcus @ Parent Notes

Marcus @ Parent Notes — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 08:01:15 +0000

A really good tip is to give your child warnings of what will happen soon (eg leaving a playgroup) before you actually do it. Also talking through events before they happen is a good idea. The child then has an idea of what to expect.
Briefly talking through the event after a tuntrum mentioning your displeasure and a better way of responding can also be useful.

By: Mummy Zen

Mummy Zen — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:08:42 +0000

Thanks for all the comments and some great points raised.

As Tiffany and Nat say, it depends to an extent on the situation and also the age of the toddler. You can reason to an extent with an older toddler and the naughty corner can work, whereas different tactics are needed for younger ones.

I agree that sometimes food bribery can help if you’re feeling a bit desperate but I guess the point I was making was that I don’t think that should be a regular response to a tantrum and that it’s better saved for times when you need a quick fix and you feel pushed to the brink!

Thanks again for everyone’s input – really interesting and helpful to know what works for people.

By: Nat

Nat — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:20:14 +0000

I think different things work on different children. I know that my daughter is relentless and nothing will break her out of that tantrum until you send her to the naughty corner, remove toys. etc. And yes ignoring her drives her batty and she comes to find you. She’s nearly 4

My son who is 20 monthsI use distraction. And food that boy has worms for sure. If he starts acting up I show him a raisin lol

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 17:06:06 +0000

You really just have to take each situation as it comes.

There are times that maybe bribery is appropriate (ie. being at a wedding and you would really like them to be settled down no matter what), or if you are out shopping you just ignore them and get your chore done.

The hardest part I think is feeling like others are judging your decision without knowing what your day has been like. Some days as moms we have peace/patience to deal “correctly” with a situation and other days maybe there is stress or not feeling well yourself and you do what you can just to (as said above) “keep yourself from lying on the floor right next to them”

By: lovemybaby

lovemybaby — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 17:04:48 +0000

ahhhh!
I did this yesturday!
We were out for lunch with a friend and toddler was having a whale of a time and did not want to leave for her socatots session so kicked up a huge tantrum.
I needed her to calm down for her class so stopped off at a petrol station and bought her a milky bar!
Any tips on how not to do this every time?